Heart of Mine
by emotional-static
Summary: After Rafe returns from China, Evelyn contemplates leaving Pearl Harbor for good, alone. --HIATUS as of 1-23-04--
1. Prologue

HEART OF MINE

A/N: I know there have been many takes on what takes place after the finale of the movie, but I suppose this is my little twist on it. This opens somewhat after Rafe returns from China—about a month later. At this point, Evelyn is pushing seven months pregnant. Enjoy, and please review when you finish reading.

This does follow the storyline of the movie. Danny does die in China, and as of right now, things are strained between Evelyn and Rafe.

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PROLOGUE 

"Evelyn, are you honestly sure about this?" 

Sandra slipped off her plain white nursing shoes and stacked them neatly in the corner of the bedroom she shared with her closest friend. "I'm you friend, Ev, talk to me. Tell me if there's anything I can do."

Evelyn sighed and pressed the remainder of her blouses into the tan suitcase. "Tell me I'm making a terrible mistake by going away."

"Fine then. You're making a terrible mistake by going away!" Sandra repeated coolly. "I wish you'd stay."

"I've been discharged from the Navy. I'm technically not even supposed to be in nurses' housing anymore. I've overstayed my welcome and I'm surprised someone hasn't ratted me out by now," she replied bitterly, resting her hand against her forehead. "You know how people talk, Sandra."

"I know." She walked over and squeezed Evelyn's hand. "But they're all just a bunch of busybodies looking for a good way to spend their free afternoons."

"At other people's expenses. I know what they've been saying about me." She smoothed the top of a black skirt and added it to the suitcase. "If it's not 'Poor, Evelyn', it's 'Oh my! She's not even married!'. I'm just a burden."

"How can you say that?" Sandra practically wanted to shake some sense into her. "I know I'm usually not this outspoken, but the last thing I want you to do is leave. I'm sure Rafe doesn't want to see you to go either." 

Evelyn hesitated and sat down on the edge of the bed. "I haven't seen Rafe in days. I'm sure it won't make much of a difference. He's logged so many flight hours over the past month that when I do want an opportunity to talk to him, I never can get one. I just think it's better this way. Just until the baby's born. Maybe then I'll be able to come back and resume my nursing duties."

"I just want to see you happy. But I hope you know how much I'll miss you. It won't be the same without you."

"I know." Evelyn leaned over and wrapped her arms around Sandra. "I'll call you as soon as I get to Philadelphia."

"I promise I'll be out there as soon as you have the baby."

"Thank you." Evelyn stood up once again and resumed her packing. "Aren't you going over your lunch hour?"

Sandra smiled and glanced out the window. "I can be a little bit late today. Besides, if anyone asks, I'll just say that Mr. Russell caused such a scene in ward four that I had to talk him out of disturbing the recruited nurses," she replied. "Barbara, Martha, and I want to take you out tonight, considering it's your last night on the island."

"You don't have to."

Sandra slipped her shoes back on again and adjusted her hat. "We insist, Ev. Just one more lady's night before you leave in the morning."

"All right."

Evelyn heard the door close and walked over to the window, watching Sandra's retreating back stroll towards the direction of the military hospital.

Sighing once again, she resumed her seat on the bed and hoped that she was doing the right thing. A knock on the doorframe interrupted her thoughts.

"Ev'lyn?"

Her breath caught in her throat as she looked up. _Rafe_.

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There will be more to this, but please review. I'll appreciate it.


	2. Blackbird, Fly

HEART OF MINE

*

Blackbird, Fly 

*        *          *        *

Evelyn's eyes shifted upwards at Rafe's figure. He was leaning against the door, and although his eyes were attempting to bore a hole in the mauve carpeting, she knew he was just as uncomfortable as she was.

"Hi, Rafe." She knew she probably looked terrible, considering the past few days' highly stressful events. He still had the effect on her. So instead of carrying out the conversation, she fussily tried to smooth her brunette waves to no avail.

Rafe noticed this and shot a grin at her. "Will you stop fussin'? You don't need to," he said lightly.

She shrugged and stood up uneasily. She'd almost forget she was pregnant until she was on her feet and felt the familiar strain on her lower back. "I look like hell and you know it."

"Nah. You're still beautiful to me."

The sentence lingered in the air and silence once again filled the room. "Thank you," she replied quietly.

"Red told me you're thinking about goin' back to Philadelphia." He walked over to the bed and sat down. "There any truth to that, or is he just pulling my leg?"

Evelyn nodded and crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm staying with my parents, at least until the baby is born."

"Ah, hell Evelyn! That doesn't make any sense!" Rafe shouted out. Frustrated, her ran his fingers through his light brown hair.

"I'm not up to arguing about this, Rafe. What else do you expect me to do? Where else am I supposed to stay?" She dropped her arm down to her hip. 

"You know if you came to me I would have worked something out with the housing here. The last thing you need is to be pulled away from your friends, from—" He almost slipped and said "me" but decided against it. "This place."

"It's not that simple Rafe." She bit her lip and looked up at the ceiling. She wasn't going to cry over this. Not right now. Not in front of him. "I'm sorry. I'm leaving on the transport first thing tomorrow morning."

"That's all well and good," he said sarcastically. 

She looked down at him and felt the tear slip out of her eye. "If you're just going to make this difficult for me, then I think you'd just better leave." She reached up and wiped it carelessly out of the corner of the eye.

"Dammit," Rafe swore as more tears silently flooded her cheeks. "I'm sorry. All I wanted to do was come here and see if I could talk you into staying, and all I'm really doing is making it worse. Please don't cry, Ev. I hate seeing you cry."

"I just don't know what to do Rafe. I'm so confused," she broke down. "My parents are less than thrilled with me at the moment. But Philadelphia is the one place where I know I can get back on my feet. I'll have a bed, and a nursery for the baby. I'll have food. I'll get to see my family. But it doesn't match up at all, because I'll have to leave so many of my good friends behind."

Rafe stood up and placed his arm around her shoulders. He guided her back to the bed and helped her sit down before he said anything else. "Well Evelyn, I don't know what to tell you."

She wiped at her eyes with the corner of the handkerchief she had grabbed from the nightstand. "Then—"

"Let me finish. I _don't_ know what to tell you, but I **can** do somethin' for you."

"What?" 

"You can tell me I'm out of line right now Evelyn and I'll leave, all right? But what I was thinkin' of was this. Doolittle told me a few days back that I had a collection of weeks still saved for me to take leave on. The best I can do is set a few weeks aside and go with you to Philadelphia to help you get settled in. Hell, I'll find a hotel and I'll stay there and see you during the day. But I don't want you wanderin' across the nation by yourself in your condition."

Evelyn loosened her grip around the handkerchief for a moment when he said this. The truth was, it _would_ make her feel a lot better to go back to her own home with someone that she had used to dream about starting a life of her own with at **their** own home. But a part of her still clung to that hope, but as much as she wanted to be with Rafe again, she felt like she was doing a terrible injustice to Danny. 

"I'd like that very much," she responded. "But I don't want you to feel obligated to go just because I'm pregnant."

"I want to go, to be there for you. Besides, I've never been to Philadelphia and I'd need a suitable lady to escort me around," he smirked.

"Honestly Rafe," she laughed as she wiped away at the last of her tears. "Thank you."

"You're very welcome."

Evelyn filled him in on the details of the trip, and Rafe promised he go over to Colonel Doolittle's office the minute he reached his barracks to notify him of the three week leave his was taking out of Pearl.

Once Rafe left, Evelyn did a final check to make sure she had packed the majority of her belongings together, but this time, a smile remained on her face while she did so.

*         *         *          *

"Promise you'll write me?" 

Evelyn nodded and hugged Sandra tight. "I promise. At least once a week."

"Good enough for me." Sandra pulled away and adjusted her glasses.

Barbara linked her hands through Evelyn's and gave her a small smile. "Oh honey, you'll be missed around here, ya know that?" Her New York accent hadn't faded a bit in the time she had spent in Hawaii. "You better pick up a telephone and give us a call every now and then."

"I will," Evelyn smiled. "Keep the boys in check for me?"

"That's not a problem," Martha added. "You take care of yourself Evelyn. I know we'll be pressing Rafe for updates."

Evelyn kissed Martha on the cheek. "I know you will."  She glanced out of the window and saw Rafe talking to Red and Gooz in the small courtyard. "I better get going."

Just then, Rafe opened the screen door and stuck his head in. "I don't mean to cut you short Ev, but the taxi to take us to Hickam just pulled up." He lifted the suitcase he had moved to the door for her that morning and made sure to place it in the trunk along with his own. 

Sandra had started to cry by this point, and all the girls surrounded Evelyn in order to give her a farewell group hug. "I'll miss you so much, Ev. So much."

"I'll see you in September," Evelyn comforted her. "And you girls are welcome to visit me as well. God knows my parents have enough room in that house of theirs."

"Consider that offer standing," Martha smiled. 

Sandra linked her arm through Evelyn's. "Let me walk you out?"

"Of course." 

The pair descended the wooden stairs and passed through the gravel walkway. Rafe was waiting by the cab and had his hand resting on the open taxi door.

Sandra pulled Evelyn in for a final hug and kissed her cheek. "Thank you for being such a good friend to me. I never told you how much I appreciated it, but I do. I wouldn't have made it this far if it wasn't for you."

"You're welcome. Take care of yourself." 

She pulled away and nodded. "I will. Write me. And don't forget to call when you get in."

"I won't."

Evelyn turned to Red and Gooz now and gave them a bright smile and outstretched her arms. "Boys?"

"Aw hell," Gooz chuckled as he kissed Evelyn's cheek. "You better be letting me come up to that house of yours so I can have me a high society dinner," he joked.

"Whatever you want," she laughed. "I'll have to arrange it."

Red hugged her and followed in the footsteps of everyone else by kissing her cheek. "Thank you for being so understanding about—Betty."

"I wouldn't have had it any other way. But can you do me a favor?"

"Just name it," Red agreed. "I'll do it."

"Keep an eye on Sandra for me? I know she'll miss me terribly when I'm gone, but I just want her to have someone besides the girls that she can talk to. Can you do that for me?" 

He nodded. "Sure can. I'll see you, Evelyn."

"Bye Red."

She paused by the open taxi door and took a final look around at the nurses' quarters. She waved at Sandra, Martha, and Barbara before glancing back at Rafe.

"Ready to go?"

"As I'll ever be." He helped her into the backseat and she slid over on the smooth leather interior. She placed her purse next to her and watched as Rafe shook hands with Red and Gooz and then, finally slid in next to her and closed the cab door.

"Hickam base," he reminded the driver as the pulled out of the courtyard.

The ride was brief, and the next thing Evelyn knew they had pulled up to the tarmac where the transport plane was waiting. Once again, Rafe made sure to help Evelyn out before tending to the suitcases.

They approached the plane and were stopped by base security, but once Rafe showed the guard their flight papers, he waved them through. 

"How you holdin' up, Lieutenant?" he asked nonchalantly, climbing up the metal stairs behind her.

"I'm okay. You?" 

"I'm fine. I'm more worried about you though. You've been quiet."

Rafe was worried about Evelyn. It seemed that the closer they came to departing, the more reserved and withdrawn she became. Although he expected it for the most part, it still worried and unsettled him. He knew that she would miss everyone something fierce, but for the most part he hoped that she would become more talkative over the six-hour flight to Los Angeles, from which they would board the second transport that would take them to Langley base in Virginia.

"I'm sorry, I'm just a little tired."

Rafe grinned as he found them two seats towards the middle of the plane. "You don't have to apologize to me, but I just can't help worrying about you."

"I'll be back to my old self once this one stops using me as their personal punching back," she joked, resting a hand on her swollen abdomen. "But you don't want to hear me complaining your ear off the whole flight, Captain."

"If it comes down to it, I could just parachute myself off the plane," he laughed.

Evelyn watched him and smiled to herself as well. It was good to have the old Rafe back—the one she had first fallen in love with. Even though they were both still grieving over the loss of Danny and the tension still lingered between them at times, Evelyn was glad that she didn't have to make this journey by herself. She had Rafe to thank for that.

*        *        *         *

Upon arriving at Langley, Rafe and Evelyn had to hurry to catch their train to Philadelphia, for it was only a short layover. The train ride had only taken a little under three hours, and was the last leg of their long journey. By the time they had pulled into 30th Street Station, Evelyn was silently thankful that her traveling for the most part was finished, although she knew that several months from now she'd most likely be taking the long route back to Pearl Harbor.

Rafe grasped her hand and helped her out of her seat before reaching for the suitcases in the overhead compartment. "Did you have a nice nap?"

She smiled and started walking down the aisle, trying to squeeze past the people bustling to get off as best she could. "I did. I can't wait to get my feet up. They're on fire," she groaned.

"I hope your nap beat the hell out of mine. I had to listen to some banker behind us talk business to his partner and what he's been making weekly. That's why flyin' planes is the only thing I'd ever do."

Evelyn smiled and brushed a strand of hair out of her face. She stepped off the train and onto the platform with a little bit of guidance from Rafe and looked around. "My sister Helen should be here waiting for us, although I wouldn't be surprised if she's more than late."

Rafe chuckled to himself and spotted an empty bench. "Why don't you sit down over there?" he suggested. "It'll give you a chance to put those feet to rest and for me to give my arms a rest from luggin' suitcases around all day."

*         *         *         *

They made idle conversation for the next twenty minutes and watched the many faces pass through the station. It was busy for an early June morning, which only made Evelyn realize how accustomed she had grown to the serenity of Hawaii.

"Evelyn!"

Rafe turned around and looked around. "I'd say it's about time your sister showed her face," he laughed.

Evelyn laughed as well once she saw the petite woman pushing her way through the commuters. Her brunette hair matched Evelyn's, although it was much curlier and framed her face in ringlets. "I'd say I agree with you."

Twenty-year-old Helen Johnson finally reached the wooden bench and practically flung herself at her older sister. "It's so good to see you!" she exclaimed. "I can't believe it! It's been almost two years. What, are you too busy soaking up the Hawaiian sunshine to remember to pay us Philadelphians a visit anymore?"

"You know how it is," Evelyn teased back. "Helen, I'd like you to meet my friend Rafe McCawley. Rafe, this is my baby sister Helen."

Rafe politely shook Helen's hand. "Hello, it's nice to meet you," he drawled.

Helen led Rafe and Evelyn out of the train station and hailed a cab. "So where are you from Rafe?"

"Shelby, Tennessee."

"I bet it's been awhile since you've been home," she smiled. The taxi pulled up to the curb and they all climbed in. 

"Yes, it has. It's been a long while."

Evelyn squeezed his hand gently as they started down the main streets. "How are Mom and Dad?"

"They're good. Excited to see you, of course. Mom wouldn't stop talking about it at all yesterday. Today, she's practically beside herself."

"I can see that. It's good to finally be home."

"You have to tell me all about Hawaii when you get the chance." Helen looked out the window before turning back to Evelyn. "I'm also sorry to hear about your good friend Betty."

Puzzled, Evelyn stared back at her. "How did you find out about Betty?"

"The letter you wrote to Mom. She read it over dinner."

"Oh. Thank you."

Rafe cleared his throat and Evelyn searched his face for any hint of hesitation. "Pearl was a terrible thing. I lost a few of my friends, as did Evelyn."

"Yes, I've heard. I'm terribly sorry to hear about that."

Evelyn was itching to change the sensitive topic, but before she had a chance the taxi pulled up to her old house.

"Welcome home, Ev," Helen smiled as she stepped onto the curb once more as she paid the driver.

Rafe helped Evelyn out and took in the sight of her childhood home. It was a medium size brick home that had obviously been kept nicely over the years. A black Packard Clipper automobile was parked in the drive, and various shrubs were lining the walkway that led up to the front door.

Helen had motioned for Evelyn to hurry along, but she held herself back and waited for Rafe to get the suitcases from the back.

"She can talk your ear off, can't she?" he grinned at her.

"And you didn't have to grow up with her." They started down the walkway and Evelyn smiled back at him.

 "Welcome to Philadelphia, Rafe."

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End file.
